Today has been a story book type of a day...I apparently took a page straight out of the classic children's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. If you have never read it, don't worry about rushing out to buy it on my recommendation. Just read the following post and you'll get the general idea. Thankfully, my version involves the enigmatic "silver lining", that mysterious imp who so desperately wants you to forget about him simply to continue his game of mockery.
Think I'm being dramatic? Maybe so. Lets let the story speak for itself.
Rachel and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...With a Silver Lining
Chapter One: Setting the Precedence
Last night I had a crazy dream. Crazy in this sentence means deathly terrifying-I'll spare the details so to not scare anyone. In any case, ending the dream meant rushing into the kids' rooms to make sure they were okay, jostling Jared awake to make sure my breathing and blood pressure were okay, and leaving the bathroom light on for the remainder of the night to make sure I was okay. Needless to say, I woke up weary and still scared of my "crazy" dream. I think I need to stop reading about Sabine and Shadow People.
The Silver Lining: I managed to go back to sleep when the sun finally peeped through the windows. It was long enough to fall back into the same dream, but with the aid of the sunlight, I think I managed to resolve it well enough so I won't have the same nightmares tonite.
Chapter Two: Is Punctuality Really That Important?
Given that my night was so miserable, I missed the alarm clock and woke up half an hour late, which means Karianna woke up half an hour late, which means we were choking down a fast breakfast, pulling her hair into a pony, and dashing off to school before she was marked tardy. And it was all my fault!
The Silver Lining: Since I didn't have time to get the boys ready, Jared was entrusted with that privilege. Meaning, he got to change a stinky diaper instead of me.
Chapter Three: Keys
In order to avoid the temptation of puting the boys down for a way early nap, I decided to go grocery shopping with them. We get to Walmart and as I was buckling Jordan into the shopping cart, I hear JD shut the car door. I realize very quickly that I had already locked the doors, but had not put my purse into the shopping cart yet. Sure enough, a quick glance into the car verifies several things: my purse is on the passenger seat. My diaper bag is on the passenger seat. My keys are on the passenger seat. And the doors are all locked. Seriously? What do you do? Get mad at your 3 year old for trying to help by closing the door? I had no make up on either. Sigh.
The Silver Lining: A nice Walmart-employee-cart-retriever-guy told me he'd watch my car while he gathered carts to make sure no one broke in to steal my oh so visible purse.
Chapter Four: Customer Non Service
With zero options for getting into the car or calling someone to help, I hike it inside to customer service to use their phone. I'm hoping to call Jared so he can tell me what my options are. The ladies at customer service kindly dial the number for me. Of course it picks up to voice mail. I ask the ladies if I can just come back to where the phone is so I can keep trying him and they say, "No, we can't let you do that-you can only make one phone call." Said to a very pregnant lady with 2 toddlers sitting in a shopping cart drenched in sweat and quickly traversing the road to misbehavior. Thanks.
The Silver Lining: 3 ladies who were waiting in the customer service line open up the purses and begin giving me quarters to use the pay phone. I almost start to cry at the generosity of a quarter.
Chapter Five: Our AAA Account Has Indeed Lapsed Into Expiration
Enough said.
The Silver Lining: One lady by the name of Becky Ryan kindly offers to let me use her AAA account to get my car open. She tells me she has been looking for a good deed to do all day and that she would be more than happy to help me out. She tells me she has been in this exact same situation and she absolutely insists. I don't even know how to thank her. I still can't get ahold of Jared, Mom says the base fee for a locksmith is 55 dollars, and I think I was about to stress myself into early labor. Becky was the good samaritan I needed right at that moment. While I called AAA, Becky disappeared, only to come back with two little boxes of goldfish crackers for the boys. She then gave me some more quarters so I could call Mom and Jared to let them know everything was okay. I wish I had been able to thank her with more than words. The 30-45 minute wait predicted by AAA was only 2 minutes, seeing as the nearest locksmith was across the street from Walmart. He had the car open in no time and before I knew it, I was back in Walmart, purse AND keys in hand, giving Becky a big hug and letting her know how much I appreciated her kindness and compassion.
Chapter Six: The Fish Escape
As we are heading back into Walmart, Jordan drops his goldfish crackers all over the floor. I can't very well leave them there since I have been shown such compassionate service.
The Silver Lining: A photographer from the in-store studio leaves her post and comes to help me pick up the fish. She says, "I know how hard it is to squat down when you are pregnant, its like okay, a little help getting back up!" Made me smile!
Chapter Seven: Ace
We finish with the groceries and head to Ace Hardware to have spare keys made. The guy can't seem to get the machine to work and it takes four tries to cut copies of both car keys. During the 3o minutes it took him to get a good copy, Jordan manages to prick his finger with a toy nail.
The Silver Lining: Jordan learns a valuable lesson. The term "toy nail" does not really exist. Nails are actually not toys-they hurt and I would wager that he will not play with nails anytime soon.
Chapter Eight: Taking A Bath
After the locksmith opened the car, I had to take out my registration to prove that I was not stealing someone else's car. I tossed the registration back into the diaper bag without realizing it was next to a cold water bottle. When we got home, the registration paper was providing a layer of insulation against the water bottle. It was soaked.
The Silver Lining: I didn't rip it when I peeled it away from the water bottle and set it out to dry.
Chapter Nine: Keys
Nope, you did not read that wrong. As I get ready to pick up Karianna from school, I realize that my car keys never got reattached to my blue lanyard. Rather, I intelligently left them in the car cup holder. The car is locked. And I can't blame this one on JD.
The Silver Lining: I have a Mom who lives a block away, who only an hour beforehand became the recipient of my spare car key. She thankfully drives down and rescues me. Is the day over yet?
Chapter Ten: The Forecast
All of this occured before 1:30 PM. I am scared for the circumstances of the remainder of the day. Thus, we are staying locked up the house to reduce the chance of anything else adding to this terrible horrible, no good, very bad day, despite all the silver linings. On the plus side, one huge silver lining happened after we got home from picking Karianna up, but I have to make a sequal to give it the justice it deserves.
The Silver Lining: As awful as this day seems to have gone, it could have been a billion times worse. I am simply grateful for kind strangers, close family members, and patient kids who made this a not so terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I am indeed grateful.
The End