We are just about 27 hours away from induction day; the hospital could call beginning 12am Tuesday morning. The house is not where I want it to be yet, not because we have been slacking off in terms of cleaning, but because keeping it clean with 7 people living in it is an hourly task. ;) I managed to get in all my max work hours this week, then got an email from my supervisor saying she had gotten permission for me to go over my max hours, so I ended up doing an extra 6 hours or so between yesterday and today-it will help make up any time I miss this week. I did manage to get all grocery shopping done, get easy-prep dinner stuff stocked, and did all the dishes so we should only need to get one more load in tomorrow. Laundry is all done, folded, put away. Those are some time-consuming jobs, so I'm glad to have those out of the way.
I feel like the baby has been moving a bit less the last few days-nothing to concern me, but enough to make me think even if I wasn't being induced, I would probably go into labor shortly. Contractions are currently (as I type) 5 min apart and a bit more than uncomfortable-they've been this way for just shy of two hours. If I called into my OB, she'd tell me to go in, and I don't think they would send me home.....that's been the case though this whole week, in my opinion. I'm close enough though.
Today was all about spending time together as a family of 7 before it turns to 8. We stayed home from church today and had a very relaxing morning at home together. I love going to church, but it was so nice to not worry about prepping clothes, bags, hair, and then overdoing it to monitor behavior while sitting on a hard bench timing contractions. I don't want that to sound blasphemous, I just did not want our last real day together as a whole family to be stressful. Between Jared's work schedule and school, this was our final chance. Okay, ending my rationale for the night!
We did some early naps and then packed everyone up to drive up Bush Highway towards 4 Peaks-one of Jared's favorite spots. I was a little nervous to do that in case I went into labor, and as soon as we hit the dirt road (which probably isn't as bad as I made it out to be) I was really questioning whether it was a smart idea or not! We found a great pull off though about 3 miles in, with a great view of the peaks. We hiked around with the kids for a bit, collected bullet shells, Karianna dug for rocks, and we found as many snake holes as we could. Jared grilled up some hot dogs from our impromptu picnic lunch-thanks heavens for good, accessible camping supplies! We ate while talking about what we would do if we were stranded-its always fun to hear what the kids would do, and Jared loves teaching them what they should really do. After packing up dinner stuff, we hiked a bit more and headed home right before the full moon came out. We pulled off into the Saguaro Lake area to try and take a picture as the moon was beautiful-it was too dark to really turn out well, but it was nice to see!
It was so nice to get away for a while: take a step back from cleaning the house and actually enjoy the kids. It's amazing what a little distance will do, and it was good for my heart. I haven't let myself dwell on any negative thoughts, but I would be lying if I said I didn't have them regarding Jackson's health and, to a lesser degree, my ability to deliver my 6th baby in a healthy manner. I can't worry about things out of my control. If I need a c section, so be it. If Jackson ends up having some heart defects, we will handle it. I'm not sure exactly how yet.....but we will manage the same way we managed last time. And that's all I can say about this topic-because I can't dwell on what-ifs. I'd rather dwell on the thought of having a new little spirit join our family. That's a lovely thought and I can't wait to have Jackson in my arms in just a few days.
***ETA: Even with that being said, about 2 hours after I posted this, I had an anxiety attack-couldn't breathe well, rising panic, racing heart, etc. Such a scary feeling, I knew I needed to calm myself down, but I couldn't do it fast enough, and that induces even more claustrophobic panic. Jared got me to drink a ton of water, put the fan right on me, and had me lay on my left side. He helped me focus on breathing smoothly, and the panic began to die down. He gave me a hand massages for about 40 minutes while we watched a reflexology tutorial on youtube. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous, but the lady doing the demo had a relaxing accent, and Jared followed her demo so well-it really did release a ton of tension, and I felt completely relaxed thereafter. I am glad that is over, and we said extra prayers that I will be able to avoid these feelings from here on out.
I'll update when I can with Jackson's birth story. I'll have the laptop at the hospital with me, and I'll definitely pop up some pics for the kids to see at home before they are able to come to visit. I'll have to change the title of my blog at some point! That's a fun thought!
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