Happy and Sad

 James was so gosh darn happy this morning!  I can't detail that statement any better than that smile can so I'll just leave it at that!  He was practicing his back-arch-movement.  This kid is so good at arching his back and scooting himself backwards in some weird form of a crawl.  It is so funny to watch and he is so adept at it!

The sad part though is he scooted himself off the bed this morning and went crashing to the floor.  He was laying next to me and I thought there was a pillow guarding him on the other side.  I was wrong.  He scooted himself right off the side of the bed and his his head on Jared's nightstand.  He now has a depressing mark on his forehead.  I felt so bad, yet so grateful that he seems perfectly fine.  Lots of emotions going on this morning, and I have learned a hard lesson!  I have never had a kid fall off a bed before-so sorry it had to be you Jamos!

Guess What This Game is Called.....

 This is a game called "Whoever can hula hoop the longest gets to decide who goes to bed first". 

Props to Jared-he won.  He is lucky I didn't play.  :)

Playtime vs. Sleeptime

James is a funny sleeper these days!

 It was only a matter of days ago that I wrote he still loves to be swaddled and goes to sleep rather quickly as a result.  Oh, what a week does to a baby!  He has broken out of his swaddle within minutes of laying down for bed every single night for the last week.  I lay him down nice and sleepy after nursing and when I peek into his bed 10 minutes later, he is out of his swaddle, in a totally different area of his bed, and trying to eat whatever toy he can get close enough to his mouth (that doesn't work out too well by the way).  If he can't reach a toy, he arches his back so he can see the top bumper of the bed and scratch at it--that is usually when I know he is having playtime instead of sleeptime.  It is such a crack up, mostly because his bedtime is 8 as opposed to 11-if this were happening at 11, I might not be so tickled!

On those nights when he just doesn't want to settle down, I usually resort to putting him in his carseat with a blanket over it and the fan on.  This usually calms him down rather quickly and he will fall asleep so I can move him to his bed.  I did this tonight, especially after his reflux seemed to be acting up.  After 15 minutes, I peeked at him and he was wide eyed and staring at me.  I said to him, "No, no James, its not playtime, its bedtime, handsome!"  He smiled his widest smile, arched his back so he made his binky pop out of his mouth, yanked his arms up, and opened his mouth to gurgle at me in his happy version of "Silly Mommy!  I want to PLAY!"

Play indeed, little boy! Oh, I love James so much-it was almost too hard to maintain his bedtime routine instead of taking him out to play!

We Love Grandpa!

We got to go visit Grandma and Grandpa Lautenschlager today, which was fantastic because it is the first time the kids got to see Grandpa since he had heart surgery!  They all came prepared with homemade cards, pictures, letters, and huge smiles!  We had a very serious talk with them before going, letting them konw they couldn't jump on grandpa, and they needed to keep their voices down.  I don't think I have ever seen the kids so well behaved-they really owned up to the responsibility!  Of course, you would never know anything was ever wrong with Grandpa-look how good he looks!!!  It constantly amazes me how much the Lord blesses us.  What a blessing to have such a successful, major surgery.  Obviously, there will be hardships in Grandpa's recovery, and having heart problems is a huge trial alone.  However, there are so many good things that act a byproducts to the hard things-and choosing to focus on the good, to see the Lord's hand lifting the sad....how else do we endure to the end?  A life lesson we learn a little bit more every day. We are so glad Grandpa is doing so well and we look forward to many more visits!

Unexpected: Events and Thoughts

We are midway through June and I can't believe we have already had nearly 3 full weeks of summer!  The first week was completely packed with summer activities-just how I wanted it.  We went camping, hit the zoo, the splash pad, got a lot of cleaning done, play dates, birthday parties...couldn't have been any busier.  The second week we did just as much, but mostly around the house-a lot of swimming, games, movie nights, baking.  This was also the week I made up our summer adventure list and was excited to start checking things off. 

Week three, in other words the current week, was unexpected in so many ways and I admit that I have not done much in terms of summer activities with the kids.  We have watched a lot of movies this week, done a lot of quiet time, and bedroom cleaning.  Our time was unexpectedly dedicated to another cause and I am once again grateful that the kids are so reslient-and faithful at that.

On Tuesday morning we found out that Jared's Dad, Greg had a heart attack while playing a softball game.  Despite the intense pain, he played through the game and diminished the severity of the incident, convincing Jared's mom, Andrea that he could wait until the morning to go to a regular doctor.  The EKG he did the next morning showed he did indeed have a heart attack and he was rushed to Banner Baywood immediately thereafter.  Testing showed the heart attack was a massive one and he actually had a 2nd heart attack while in the hospital.  He had an angioplasty Wednesday morning, and we were dismayed when we got word that they couldn't do anything-multiple arteries were completely blocked, and there was no real reason Greg should have been alive.  He was immediately scheduled for emergency quadruple bypass heart surgery that afternoon.  Thankfully the surgery went well and only required a triple bypass.  We got to go see Greg when he was being transferred back to the ICU.  It was difficult seeing him under sedation with a ventilator breathing for him and a bandage covering up his incision-especially for Jared.  Such a mountain of a man in such a position is overwhelming.  He came through the night well and this morning Greg was able to sit up, walk around for a bit, come off his venilator, and talk.  He is working on eating without throwing up right now, and his heart rythmns are a bit irregular, but that is to be expected.  Overall he is doing amazingly well and we are so grateful for that.

So many thoughts have been running through my head this week as the events have unfolded.  My immediate thoughts were geared towards Jared, his family, and his Dad.  My number one goal was to support them as they worked through this tragedy-especially during the uncertain time period.  My number two goal was to take care of the kids, the home, everything that would just allow Jared to concentrate on his family.  My number three goal was to help our kids understand what was going on without scaring them.  We said prayers for Grandpa, we drew pictures for him, and wrote him letters.  The kids thought it was great that Grandpa has a scar exactly like James!  Karianna was worried, and we had a couple of long conversations with her (past midnight) about many very serious topics that no 7 year old should really have to think about-I think talking to her helped though. 

Beyond those three goals though, I had a completely different reel of thoughts racing through my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about the similarities between Jared's dad and my dad.  Both were very active before their heart attacks.  My dad ran 3 miles a day and had his heart attack after returning from a run.  Both men were young-Jared's dad was 56, mine was 53.  Both men also had signs of having had previous heart attacks.  We only found that out about my dad after he passed away.  When Jared's dad had his surgery, they saw scarring on his heart that indicated he had had a previous heart attack-and he never knew.  Its difficult to think that if we had caught the previous heart attacks, perhaps my dad could have had surgery like Jared's dad-and perhaps he could have had more time.  Now, I know there is no point comparing-I wbelieve the Lord has a plan for each one of us, and I am very content knowing where my dad is and when I will see him again.  It is bittersweet, though, to consider these things.  I am so glad Jared's dad has time.  Such a blessing.

We are hoping and praying that Jared's dad continues to recover.  The kids want to see him and we have plans to make him a good Father's Day video that he can watch in the hospital.  Situations like these make you truly reflect on your family-and cherish them even more than ever. 

Biter Biscuits

James has hit a baby milestone:  he has enjoyed his first biter biscuit!  And wow, look at this difference in this photo and the photo on the right!!!

Summer Stuff: Tempe Beach Park

On the spur of the moment, we decided to trek down to the Tempe Beach Park for the first time.  I am so glad we did, as I loved the splash pad there!  The kids seemed to love it too, although upon asking them they all said it was too cold.  Cold?  In 110 degree weather????  My response was "Take a 3 minute towel break and get back out there!!!!"  After we got home, they all decided they would like to go back, and that's good-I have officially determined Tuesdays are Tempe Beach Park days.  Glad we have found another cool gem for hot summer days!

Life Lesson and Whip the Fly

These two topics go together, I promise!

Karianna was somewhat upset/sad about her playdate with her cousins this morning.  Nothing big happened, they just had a hard time fitting everything in that they wanted to do.  The girls were living in the land of "Are we still friends?"  when the playdate ended, hence Karianna's mood.  I sat down with her after everyone had left and talked with her about how to made playdates more successful-taking turns, asking her visitors what they wanted to do, etc.  I could tell she was really down about it-she loves her cousins and she takes things very personally/emotionally sometimes, even when they are not that big of a deal.  Add in any uncertainty about whether or not she lost a friend, and she is miserable.

I hate seeing Karianna so sad, partially because I believe she learned this trait from me.  I have a hard time letting things go sometimes, and Karianna has the same diffiulty.  While sitting on that couch, I told her she could choose to forget about this and be happy, or stay sad even though we came up with some solutions for the next play date.  Karianna, bless her heart, told me, "I want to be happy, but I don't know how."  Her eyes wer tearing up and that's where I saw myself-I have been there exactly, many times.  Karianna is my daughter.

I told Karianna one way to "throw the sad feelings in a bag and toss it in the garbage" is to doing something fun to distract her from feeling sad.  I gave her a ton of options, and she found a reason to NOT do every single one.  Finally I suggested a game of Whip the Fly.  She gave me a true teenager look of despair, so I decided to play anyway-plus, there was a huge fly in our living room, and I wanted to kill it.  So I picked up James' baby blanket and started whipping at the fly to kill it.  I was exhuberant.  Ninja style.  I was awesome-seriously. And I was so awesome, that Karianna started laughing, especially when I playfully started "whipping" the blanket at her and pretending she was the fly.  The other kids got into it, and pretty soon, I was chasig everyone around the house, flinging this blanket at them in between Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks (I told you I was good).  5 minutes of pure bliss and silliness, and just in case you were wondering, the fly did in fact die in the process.

With 4 kids giggling uncontrollably, I called for a time out-everyone froze.  I turned to Karianna, holding my whip-blanket at my side and softly asked her, "Did you throw it away?"  She said, "What?"  I asked again very softly, "Did you throw away the sad feelings?"  Karianna said, "What sad feelings?"

I smiled. I said, "You did it.  You threw it away and forgot about it-and you are happy." 

Now, from my own experiences, I knew Karianna could react to this realization in one of two ways.  She could retreat really quickly to her previous disposition and refuse to let go of the sad feelings.  Or, she could smile from ear to ear and relish the feeling of being happy-as well as request another round of Whip the Fly with her being the one to hold the whip-blanket. 

I'll let you guess which option she chose.

Choose to be Happy.  A life lesson for which I am grateful.

Happy Father's Day!

 I love celebrating Father's Day! I love preparing cards for Jared, letting the kids help make him a multi-course breakfast while Jared sleeps in, and getting a few small presents to let him open.  I love seeing how happy the kids get when Jared opens their cards, and this year it was fun to see the kids hand him gifts with his eyes closed and then guess what they were.  Most of all, I love celebrating Jared as a Dad beause he is a fantastic Dad-I couldn't ask for a better man to help me raise our children.  He is such a good friend to the kids-he loves to have fun with them and the silliness is so joyful!  At night the kids come to Jared when they have bad dreams because they know he will let them crawl into bed with him.  The kids all race to the door when Jared comes home and Sara in particular grabs onto his leg and refuses to let go.  Jared is generally in charge of bedtimes, and the kids love listening to his stories (which get pretty grandiose), singing songs with him, and then praying.  Jared is literally modelling how to be a Father to his boys, as well as modelling what type of man his girls are worthy of.  I am so grateful for Jared, and do not need a specific day of the year to honor Jared. Happy Father's Day EVERY single day Jared-we love you!

 I made these letters to hang on the wall for Father's Day this year.  They honor more than just Jared-they express my feelings for my own Dad and for Jared's Dad.  My Dad has been gone for over 6 years, but I still think of him every day, especially on days like today.  I have a wonderful Dad and I am so grateful for the impact he has on my life every single day.  My memories of his are sweet and I am looking forward more than I can say to seeing him again someday.  I love Jared's Dad too-he is such a great grandpa to the kids!  I truly appreciate his peaceful and relaxed demeanor, how level-headed he is about everything and his quiet sense of support and love.  We visited the Lautenshlagers a week ago for dessert, and as we walked in, I gave Greg a hug, as usual, and he gave me a kiss on my cheek.  It has always been hard for me to view anyone else as a Dad for me, but in that moment, I did.  Greg spent his Father's Day in the hospital recovering from heart surgery, and our thoughts were with him all day as a Father and a Grandpa.  I made a DVD for him, which included pictures and video clips of the kids-I hope it made his day, as he deserved it.

Happy Father's Day to Jared, Greg, My Dad, and all the Dads out there-you do such an important job!

Lunch Date

I got the chance to go out for lunch with JD and Karianna today! 

They both had certificates for a free lunch and ice cream sundae at JB's as a result of perfect attendance ( think Karianna's might have been for reading actually).  I had never been to JB's, though I knew it was a favorite retreat of winter visitors. Sure enough, when we got there, we got several looks that made me wonder if the servers had ever seen a child before!  Thankfully JD and Karianna are both very well mannered kids out in public, and I think the hostess realized she didn't need to seat us so far away from the elderly diners after all!  While I don't think I would ever voluntarily choose this restauraunt, I completely enjoyed my kids and spending some quality time with them.  They had a blast too-I'm sure the ice cream sundae's helped!

 Digging into their food!

 More Silliness!

 Karianna kept talking about how much she loved this "old fashioned cup".

As we were getting ready to leave, an older lady stopped by our table and told me that she thoroughly enjoyed watching me converse with my kids-she said it was so sweet to see us so involved with each other.  The kids and I had spent the entire time discussing the plot sequence of Harry Potter, who qualifies for the term "handicapped", and what should be included on pending Christmas lists....I'm not sure if I deemed any of that truly important conversations to have with my kids, but as I considered that lady's comments, I realized it didn't matter what we had discussed-all that matter is we took the time to do it.  I appreciate that thought, especially as my kids get older.  Thanks for the date guys!

James at 6 months!

Wow oh wow, how quickly half a year flies by:  James is 6 months old! 

My mind becomes so overwhelmed when I allow myself to consider where we were 6 months ago compared to now.  The journey James has been on seems so huge to me, so life changing-but in good ways, and in ways that have made our family grow together.  We love James so much and we are so grateful for the blessing he is to our family.  Here's some of the things he's up to this month:

James started just doing sink baths this month.  I realized this is of no huge consequence, but all my other kids have loved the tub-this guy, not so much.  I think he rather enjoys looking in the mirror and the closer confines of a sink. Whatever works-plus, he looks cute!

 James' scar is looking fantastic 6 months post op!  I generally notice the chest tube scar before I actually notice the incision scar.  This month it seems that the scar has widened slightly, but that is probably a result of James growing.  He started developing a rash around it this month as well,but we zapped it pretty quick with some hydrocortizone.  I can still see the spots where the pacers went in, and where they did his pyloricstenosis surgery, but those are very small.

 James is still uber happy when he is happy with huge goofy smiles and wide bug eyes!  He loves, loves, loves to eat his feet-more than any other kid I've had.  He also loves to stick his entire fist in his mouth-I am sure he is going to pop a tooth soon!  James talks all the time, definitely heard some "mama"s in there, but of course, doesn't mean anything quite yet.  James loves toys right now-I mean, loves them so much.  He grabs any toy within reach to investigate it and then eventually shove it in his mouth.  As such, he loves standing in his exersaucer or his jumper to play with toys.  He still loves his swing, and I am glad from that sense that his is still small so he can still use it. 

 James has started to figure out how to put his binkie back in his mouth, which is a nice new trick!  He can sit up suported for a good while, and momentarily on his own.  He rolls both ways now, though not very frequently, and he is getting better at kicking himself around in circles.  He has always been great at craning his head around, and with the exhuberant kicks his legs are capable of, he ends up moving himself around quite a bit.

 Night times are starting to become adenturous for me.  James has had some great nights/weeks this month where he sleeps 5 hours straight.  I have been getting stricter with him about not nursing, rather just replacing his binkie, rocking him, and then letting him fuss back to sleep.  I think its important for kids to learn to self-soothe, and I have to admit, I have definitely catered to James more than the other kids given his heart conditions.  Thus this month has been tricky, especially the last few weeks with James starting to wake up again every 2-3 hours.  For the most part I stay strong and rock him back to sleep without feeding him, but there have definitely been nights where I just end up thinking, fine, eat so we can both go back to sleep.  Jared and I have started to consider when he will move to his own room, I just have a hard time considering this because if he has surgery sooner than later, I am just going to move him back in next to me..Interesting tidbit about James, he is still a swaddler!  I only swaddle him when he goes to bed, and it is very soothing to him, which I love.  I only have 3 blankets that are big enough to swaddle him though!

 James had his first more interactive zoo trip this month-ie, the first time I have really taken him out of his stroller and described animals to him.  Karianna took a turn in the orangutan exhibit! He got to play in the splash pad as well, which was honestly necessary because it was so hot!  There is a reason we really only go to the zoo for the splash pad during the summer...

 James also took his first camping trip this month.  He did so fantastic, I was super impressed with how well he tolerated the cold, took naps, and enjoyed the outdoors.  He is still content enough to sleep in his carseat, which was a lifesaver in terms of keeping him warm!

 Toe Proof.  :)

 James is eating baby food now, and has been since about 2 weeks into this month.  He is now eating twice a day and has started fighting the spoon a little bit-all part of the process.  He is such a wiggleworm, sometimes it is hard to strap him down in a position that will allow me to feed him without making a huge mess!  I usually feed him reclined in my lap honestly, as that's the best way to trap his arms!  James has also started drinking water with a slight bit of juie in it.  Sometimes he loves it and other times he won't touch it.  :)

 James goes to the cardiologist next month, and as of right now, is doing great in terms of his heart.  We still fail to see any difference between him and other 6 month olds until you look at his chest or look at his chart.  His health otherwise has been perfect.  He had his first fever of his life just a few days ago, which went away after a few sponge baths. 

 I'll have updated weight/length stats on James next week when he goes in for his appointment, so I'll come back and update those at that point.  Such a wonderful little boy who we love so much!  Happy 6 month birthday James!